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Positive Tongue Wagging
Penninsula Daily News of 18 June 2008
It is one of the smallest parts of the body. But when used to criticize or condemn others, the tongue is a flame that can kindle a great fire, burning both the speaker and the subject.
So Francesco Tortorici keeps a small but powerful anti-inflamatory device close at hand.
"It's the first thing I put on in the morning," Francesco says.
Francesco is talking about the wristband he wears every day to remind him not to criticize, condemn, complain or otherwise give voice to negative thoughts. Joan Cole, his spouse, also wears one of the purple wristbands, which are inscribed with the words "Positively Speaking." The logo-- a happy face with a plus mark in a dialogue balloon -- may be a bit over the top, but the couple has found the wristbands an effective way to put a damper on negative speech.
So effective, in fact, that they started their own wristband distribution as a local fundraiser.
"We ordered 900 and sold 600 thus far, with the net proceeds, $600, going to the Port Townsend Marine Science Center," Francesco says. "It's earmarked for the scholarship/campership fund."
The couple first learned of the idea from Kelly Oswald, whom they met last summer in her shop in Whistler, British Columbia. Oswald came up with the wristbands as a way of challenging people to go 21 consecutive days without voicing negative thoughts. Every time you don't succeed, you have to switch the band to the other wrist and start over. It takes an average of 21 days to get rid of an old habit or develop new one.
"At first, I only got as far as three days, depending on what was going on," Francesco says. "The most I got to was 14 or 15 days, then it was back to day one."
The couple resolve their own conflicts amicable, they say, but sometimes frustrated by people they dealt with, especially at work. Francesco, who grew up in Brooklyn, N.Y., is an engineer who does construction consulting for residential and commercial projects -- right now, he is working on a project to reconstruct a levee on the Green River. Joan, who is also from New York, is a massage therapist and manages the MASH clinic. Their positive-speaking commitment was put to the test last October, when they went back to New Jersey for a family wedding.
"We did coin the idea of a "free day" when we had already blown it," Joan says.
The moratorium on negativity also covers self-criticism, Joan says. But as they got more adept at controlling their own speech, they started noticing that it had a positive effect on people around them. At a dinner party where everyone was grousing about politics and the oil crisis, Francesco started talking about positive changes in Cuba and the emergence of local community gardens.
"It shifted the whole atmosphere of the party," Francesco says. "There was more laughing, more joking."
Instead of quelling emotions, the practice led to finding ways to deal with anger or frustration instead of just griping, Joan says. In all, it took the couple seven to eight weeks to achieve their goal of 21 straight days without a negative word. The longer they wore the wristbands, the deeper the change became.
"Initially it's all about speaking," Francesco says. "Then it becomes, 'Why I am wasting time thinking about this?'"
Once she broke the habit of speaking whatever came into her mind, Joan says, she also started monitoring her thoughts. Thinking positively focuses your attention on what you want, Francesco discovered, not what you don't want -- if you focus on negativity, that is what expands in your mind. Kelly Oswald told them a similar endeavor exists called "Complaint-Free World," but Francesco says the name Positively Speaking underlines what one person can do to make a difference.
"It's an awareness tool," he says of the wristband.
The practice also taught her to keep her mouth shut in situations where the only thing she might say would serve as fuel for the fire, Joan says. In the end, Francesco says, it's about making a conscious choice not to go through life complaining, a choice to smile instead of frown. To get your own Positively Speaking wristband, go to the Port Townsend Marine Science Center gift shop at Fort Worden State Park, Ancestral Spirits, 701 Water Street, or Belltower Art, 1046 Water St. Donations go to scholarships for student programs at the Marine Science Center. For more information, go to click on the Port Townsend link or email francescot@gmail.com.

‘Positively’ supports kids’ eco-awareness
Proceeds from bracelet sales donated to AWARE education program
 By Reporter, Jennifer Miller, The Whistler Question: January 14, 2008
jmiller@whistlerquestion.com
The money raised so far during the local Positively Speaking purple bracelet campaign is being donated to a local group to ensure that young people in Whistler will keep learning about how to care for the natural environment.
Kelly Oswald, local leader of the Positively Speaking initiative, this week presented the AWARE Kids’ Nature Club with $1,000 raised so far from bracelet donations. She said the club is worthwhile because it teaches kids from a young age to care for the environment.
“I feel that it’s a very proactive group,” Oswald said. “There’s a lot of potential for change there in our youth and I’d like to support that change.”
Thousands of purple Positively Speaking bracelets have spread across Whistler and beyond since the initiative began last July. The bracelets are a physical reminder not to complain, gossip or criticize.
The idea is to speak positively for 21 straight days, about the time it takes to form a new habit. If you catch yourself complaining or gossiping, you switch the bracelet to your other wrist and start from day one again.
Oswald said bracelets have spread across North America, to England, Australia, Costa Rica and other destinations when people visiting Whistler have picked them up. Other communities have also started their own campaigns.
Bracelets are available by donation, and so far $1,000 has been raised locally. Cara Richard, AWARE environmental education coordinator, said the money will go toward room rentals, equipment and second-hand craft supplies for the nature club. Everything the club uses is reused and recycled.
“The money will be a great help,” she said. “The most important thing is it helps keep the AWARE Kids’ Nature Club running smoothly and successfully year round.”
The monthly, free drop-in program began last summer with fun, interactive sessions about Whistler’s black bears and slow food.
“So far the club has exceeded our expectations. It’s being received really well,” said Sara Jennings, AWARE president. “The money from the bracelets will help tremendously and ensure that we can make the club an ongoing thing for years to come.”
The next AWARE Kids’ Nature Club session is planned for Jan. 26 from 10 to 11:30 a.m. at Meadow Park Sports Centre. The theme for January is Winter Wild Animals, and participants will have the chance to learn about how animals such as bobcats and snowshoe hares survive in the winter, Richard said.
Children must be accompanied by an adult for the free session, and kids should be bundled up in snow gear to be prepared for playing interactive games in the snow, she said.
Positively Speaking bracelets are available by donation at the Oracle, The Question office and in Function at Whistler’s Personnel Solutions. Oswald is currently requesting personal stories about people’s Positively Speaking experiences, and each story will be entered into a weekly prize draw. Drop by the Oracle or check out www.theoracle.ca for more information.

Speak up; be positive. Group hopes to squelch negative speech habits
 Port Townsend & Jefferson County Leader
By Barney Burke, Leader Staff Writer
Can you go three weeks without saying something negative?
A Port Townsend couple is trying to do that, and they're finding it's not easy to change lifelong habits in a world with plenty of negative things to speak about negatively.
In August, Francesco Torturici and Joan Cole were on vacation in Whistler, B.C., when they met Kelly Oswald, the woman who had just started the Positively Speaking initiative, and they have been wearing positively purple bracelets ever since.
According to Oswald's website, "The idea behind Positively Speaking is to get in the habit of being helpful, positive, encouraging and to move away from the habit of complaining, criticizing and negative comments."
That's not easy in a world where comedian George Carlin rants about people telling him to "Have a nice day."
But for Brooklyn-born Tortorici, 60, "It's completely in tune with the journey I'm on." Thirty years ago, the former building official was anti-nuclear power. Now, he realizes he was for better alternatives to nuclear and should have seen it that way at the time.
Today, he's an engineering consultant working on a 200-unit housing complex at Fort Lewis. "There is no need to blame," he said of an issue that came up on the job this week. "It's all a matter of how I present an issue."
Cole, 59, is a massage therapist. Positively Speaking has done more than made her aware of what she says. "Because I'm more conscious of what comes out of my mouth," said Cole, "it's forced me to look at why I would say anything at all."
Cole finds herself asking, "What was my motivation?" or "How important was this?" In personal relationships, the couple said, being more conscious of what one says helps filter out triflings like who-left-the-cap-off-the-toothpaste to make room for what's important in life.
Recognizing that it can take three weeks or more to change a habit, the program encourages people to wear a purple Positively Speaking bracelet and switch it to the other wrist when they find themselves slipping back into negative habits.
Like getting back on a bike or a horse, it's only human to start over, said Cole. She notes that Oswald starts over when she reaches Day 21 in her continuing effort to be more positive.
Checking the calendar, Tortorici said he was on Day Five as of Tuesday. He's made it to Day 14 in the past. Cole was back to Day Three but has gone as far as 11 or 12 days.
About 100 bracelets have been distributed in Port Townsend. So far, the reaction has been positive, they said, as people welcome the opportunity to be more positive.
But what if you're upset about some injustice in the world, for example? "It's a person's choice," said Tortorici. "I see things in the world I perceive as not being the best things; it begins with me."
The crux of the idea is to be conscious of "negative talk," such as gossip, complaining and criticizing. "We are all well-practiced" with those skills, Cole observed.
"I find that I nod a lot more," said Cole, instead of jumping into a heated conversation or fueling someone's rant.
When a recent dinner party conversation evolved into a political discussion, the couple piped up with their newfound perspective. "We all started sharing on a different level after that," Tortorici said.
But is the Positively Speaking initiative a politely disguised attempt to stifle free speech or enforce political correctness in a county where politics is a blood sport? There's no agenda, the couple said. If someone's tired of being crotchety and wants to change their ways, that's their choice, said Cole. But they can lob another caustic letter at the editor if they want to.
The couple thinks Mahatma Gandhi said it best: "Be the change you want to be in the world."
So who benefits from this? "The Marine Science Center and I do," said Tortorici. Local proceeds are given to the science center, but the larger benefits go to those who try to be more positive, he explained.
Bracelets are available by donation at www.positivelyspeaking.net, Belltower Art, Ancestral Spirits Gallery, the Boiler Room, and the Port Townsend Marine Science Center.

‘Positively’ movement grows
Initiative spreads to B.C., Washington communities
By Reporter, Jennifer Miller, The Whistler Question: October 12, 2007
jmiller@whistlerquestion.com
The wave of purple positivity that has taken hold in Whistler in recent weeks has started to spread beyond the resort’s borders to communities in the Lower Mainland and Washington state.
The local Positively Speaking initiative that encourages people to stop gossiping, complaining and speaking negatively by wearing a purple bracelet as a reminder of their commitment is starting up in Maple Ridge, Langley and Port Townsend, WA.
Joan Cole and Francesco Tortorici of Port Townsend came across the Positively Speaking concept while visiting Whistler a few weeks ago. They got bracelets of their own and decided to get a box of 500 bracelets to start the program at home.
“Francesco and I have been making a concerted effort to think more positively in our lives,” Cole said. “This is a great tool for us personally and also, what a great opportunity to introduce this to other people that we know and don’t know in Port Townsend.”
The bracelets haven’t arrived yet, but people in Port Townsend are already getting excited about the initiative, Tortorici said. In fact, he’s already thinking 500 bracelets won’t be enough for the community of about 9,000 people.
“There’s so many people that just can’t wait until we get the bracelets because they want to participate,” he said.
The idea behind Positively Speaking is to go 21 days straight without saying anything negative, because it takes about 21 days to form a new habit. Each time you catch yourself speaking negatively, you move the bracelet to your other wrist and start counting at day one again.
“This has allowed me to sit back and think about what I’m going to say,” Tortorici said. “We’ve been doing this for three weeks and I’m up to day four again. So it’s progress, not perfection.”
Cheryl Brewster is starting the Positively Speaking program in her community of Maple Ridge and the surrounding areas. She’s hoping the positivity will spread all over the Lower Mainland.
“My sense is once people hear about it it’ll take off on its own,” she said. “My hope for my community is that it creates awareness and personal accountability.”
The concept of positive thinking and positive speech has been a longtime focus for the intuition development specialist. Years ago Brewster joined a Toastmasters group that was called Positively Speaking, which eventually led her to start her own intuition consulting business.
She said being positive is the foundation that allows people to – as Gandhi said – be the change they want to see in the world.
“I don’t think that true change is possible without a positive underlay. It’s what holds everything all together,” Brewster said.
The purple bracelets have also made their way to a school in Langley, which ordered 100 bracelets for its teachers and staff, said Kelly Oswald, creator of the local Positively Speaking initiative.
There are now more than 2,000 bracelets distributed in participating communities, and some participants in Whistler are very close to reaching the 21-day goal, she said. Oswald encouraged people who are starting at day one again to be excited about the chance to start all over again instead of dwelling on the fact that they blew it. She’s been wearing a bracelet since Aug. 2 and is currently back on day nine.
“I can’t believe how much fun this has been,” she said. “It’s growing and growing and growing.”
Positively Speaking bracelets are available by donation at several locations in Whistler such as the Oracle and the Question. All proceeds go to the AWARE Kid’s Nature Club. Visit the Positively Speaking website for more information.

Positively Speaking ‘an opportunity for personal growth’
By Reporter, Jennifer Miller, The Whistler Question August 16, 2007
jmiller@whistlerquestion.com
Imagine having a disagreement with a spouse, family member, friend or co-worker and trying to express your disappointment, frustration or hurt feelings without complaining, criticizing or using negative language.
Kelly Oswald, creator of Positively Speaking, a local initiative designed to get people in the habit of thinking and speaking more positively, said such situations are challenging. But she’s living proof that it’s possible to discuss issues without using negative words.
“It’s having respect for the other person,” Oswald said. “It doesn’t mean you have to be nice to everybody - compliance isn't the objective. It means you have to feel good about what’s coming out of your mouth, and achieve even difficult objectives with a more positive focus”
Oswald ordered purple Positively Speaking bracelets as a physical reminder of a commitment to positive speaking for 21 consecutive days. If you slip up and catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing, the bracelet gets switched to your other wrist and the 21 days begins again.
Last Friday (Aug. 10), Oswald was on Day 6 of the 21-day Positively Speaking challenge — for the second time. But with some practice under her belt and the reminder of her purple bracelet, she was able to deal with her son breaking his curfew without breaking her streak of using only positive language.
“This is definitely a challenge,” Oswald said of the 21-day goal. “It’s an opportunity for personal growth.”
Purple bracelets are popping up all over Whistler, with couples, families and small groups beginning the challenge together. Since the bracelets became available less than three weeks ago, more than 500 have already been picked up, Oswald said.
Some other B.C. communities are also interested in starting the Positively Speaking initiative.
Local dance instructor Krista Hoffs is planning to give the bracelets to about 44 dance students at the Soul Funktion studios next week as they go through a week of intense, demanding training. Positive language will add a mental component to their physical training and demonstrate the power of positive thinking, she said.
After about a week of wearing her bracelet, Hoffs has so far only managed two consecutive days without having to start over. But she said comparing notes with others and hearing about their Positively Speaking progress has been encouraging.
“It’s spreading like wildfire,” Hoffs said.
Oswald said she discovered the idea for the initiative from a Kansas-based church that started a similar bracelet program called A Complaint-Free World. The objective of Positively Speaking is to create a more optimistic, abundant and empowered life — and ultimately a more positive world, she said.
“If you come from a place of positive thinking… then you’re going to attract more of that into your life,” Oswald said. “It spreads positive energy.”
The Positively Speaking purple bracelets are available by donation at The Oracle, The Question, Whistler’s Personnel Solutions in Function and other locations around town. Businesses or organizations that would like to have bracelets available can contact Oswald at (604) 905-0084 to get a box.
All proceeds from bracelet donations are currently going to the AWARE Kids’ Nature Club, but other local organizations could be future beneficiaries, Oswald said. Visit www.positivelyspeaking.net for tips on how to become more positive and to submit your own Positively Speaking experiences.

Off the Record
The Whistler Question, August 2007
Ah, another cool/cloudy/rainy, mixed-bag summer day in Whistler. The weather this summer has been so crappy. Where’s the heat and the sun that we’ve been waiting months for?
Darn. I’ve done it again.
It’s a good thing I’m not wearing my Positively Speaking bracelet, or I’d be switching it to my other wrist for the 50th time today. Truly.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the purple bracelet phenomenon that’s taken hold of Whistler, Positively Speaking is a personal challenge to cut out complaints, criticism, gossip and negative language for 21-days straight, or the length of time it takes to form an new habit. The purple bracelet is a physical reminder of your commitment, and if you catch yourself speaking negatively you switch wrists and start counting from day one all over again.
People all over Whistler are picking up the bracelets (available at the Oracle, the Question and other places around town) and leaving behind their negative words for days at a time.
But not me. Nope, I’m still in pre-training for my Positively Speaking bracelet. If I were to put it on now I’d spend my whole day moving the bracelet from one wrist to the other.
OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit (who, me?). But since I’ve talked with a few people about the Positively Speaking concept, I’ve started becoming more aware of the words that come out of my mouth.
And, oh boy, throughout the course of just one day – depending on what that day involves – I’m capable of a lot of complaining and criticizing.
Take last weekend for example. On Saturday morning I braved the Sea to Sky highway for a trip to the city to attend a close friend’s bachelorette party. All was going well until I reached Squamish and a truck that was pulling a boat behind it completely cut me off, veering into my lane and forcing me to slam on my breaks to avoid being sideswiped by the monster vehicle.
Perhaps if I’d been wearing my purple bracelet, I might have stopped myself from yelling not-so-flattering names as I raised my arm to shake my fist at the driver while laying on the horn with my other hand. As I continued to drive behind the truck-and-boat, I stewed and continued to shake my head at what a dangerous and stupid move the driver made.
I was vaguely aware at the time that my words, and in fact my entire attitude, were the epitome of negativity. I imagined steam coming off my head as my anger towards the driver simmered.
As I eventually passed and lost sight of the offending vehicle, I tried to let go of my frustration and move on with the rest of the drive in a more positive frame of mind. My good intentions were thwarted, however, when a construction-company pickup truck with lights flashing led a long line of cars for a good ten minutes at a pace of 30 km an hour for no apparent reason.
I could feel my blood beginning to boil again, as though someone had turned up the heat on the element that was not quite cooled from the first flare-up.
Though I mostly let go of the highway frustration after arriving in the city and regaling my friend with my tales of woe, the rest of the weekend seemed to hold just as many instances of negative speech as my solo drive to Vancouver. No excuses, but the fact that it was a bachelorette didn’t leave me much of a chance – I dare anyone to get a group of girls together with some wine and just try to stop the gossip.
Anyway, I guess the whole point is that even as the negative words spilled from my lips I found myself thinking about what I was saying and recognizing it as negative. I can’t say the awareness of my complaining did anything to make it stop, but I’m hoping that as time goes by it just might.
After times of frustration pass, I find myself thinking about how else I could have handled the situation using only positive words. It’s challenging, but it’s giving my brain something to chew on.
Think happy thoughts and visit the Positively Speaking webiste to find out more about the purple bracelets.

Turning the Negative Positive
 The Whistler Question, August 2, 2007
By Cathy Goddard
Check out Whistler’s new campaign at www.positivelyspeaking.net.  The campaign’s purpose is to break the habit of complaining, criticizing and gossiping.  Be kind, helpful, encouraging and positive.  You’ll likely see a lot of Whistlerites wearing purple bracelets as a commitment to choose their words wisely.
The concept is easy…or so you may think!   Wear the bracelet for 21 days (theory is that it takes 21 days to break a habit).  If you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing, move the bracelet to the other arm and start at day one again.   Let’s just say I’ve had a couple ‘Day Ones’ already!
We have far more words in our vocabulary that express negative rather than positive emotions.  A study conducted by a Penn State professor asked different groups to write down as many words as they could in two minutes.  They were then asked whether each word was positive, negative or neutral.  Professor Robert Schrauf found that “half of all words that people produce from their working vocabulary to express emotion are negative, thirty percent are positive and twenty percent are neutral.”  Schrauf claims the study shows “that cross culturally, there are maybe five to seven basic emotions that show up in every language that seem to have the same meaning – joy, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, shame and guilt.”  Only one positive emotion in those seven words.  The theory is that negative emotions are more difficult to process so they slow us down causing us to fixate on that word whereas positive emotions tend to tell us things are good so it is easier to move forward.  For example, if you feel guilty, it might take more effort to figure out why and to resolve it.
Bottom line is it is much easier to cope with joy than guilt.  And our brains can be reconfigured to turn to the positive.  Drop by the Oracle or Whistler’s Personnel Solutions’ office at #208 – 1200 Alpha Lake Road to pick up a bracelet.  We’re collecting a small donation with proceeds going to AWARE.
Cathy Goddard is General Manager of Whistler’s Personnel Solutions. The agency helps find employees in a scarce talent pool and its human resources services can show you how to keep them. You can contact them at (604) 932-4832 or info@whistler-jobs.com.